August 17th, 2012

the saddest day
this is the first time I lost one of my family member.
I never cry this much in one day.
I never sad this much in a whole day.
in one side, I'm glad God took her in this Ramadhan month, also in Friday.
but of course in one side, I felt sad. completely sad.
I tried to not to cry in front of my little brother.
I ran to bathroom to cry in there, and got out when I felt calm.
When they and she came, I can't hold my tears anymore.
I saw all my little bro and sis cried.
I saw my mom cried really hard, and when I hugged her, heavy tears from my eyes came.
"pengen lebaran sama nenek"
my 10 years old brother, Seba said that. I kept hugging all my bro and sis, tried to calmed them down.
I didn't know that they will cry so hard like that.
sad, but I know, we all really ikhlas to let her go.
we didn't want to see her in so much pain like this pas few months, especially in this one week in ICU.
nek, your life must be really perfect, having 5 children and 9 grandchildren who loves you unconditionally.
we still pretend that you're still here, and we know that you ARE still here.
we miss you everyday, nek.
Live well.